Disclaimer: I don’t own anything except the screen names.
‘blah’ means thoughts
(A/N: blah) means Author Notes
Severus was in a bad mood and being pulled away from his dungeons and potion brewing in order to attend a staff meeting did not help matters. ‘This had better be important.’
He walked into the staff room and saw McGonagall and the two Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers, Remus and Sirius, talking to Dumbledore
“Ah, Severus. You made it,” Dumbledore said.
“About time,” Sirius sneered.
“Unlike you, I cannot drop what I am doing whenever Albus calls. My work is very delicate,” Severus defended.
“All right. That’s enough. I’ve called you four here because one of the students, who shall remain nameless, had an idea and I think it’s a very good idea. The student came up with a wizarding version of the muggle technology called the internet. She called it the Wireless Wizarding Network.”
“You said ‘she. Ms. Granger, wasn’t it?” Severus inquired.
“No, actually. It was a Ravenclaw who came up with the idea.”
“So, how do we operate the technology?” McGonagall asked.
“With these.” Dumbledore pointed to a stack of thin laptops.
Remus took one and examined it. He looked at the Headmaster. “How do you work it?”
Once everyone had one, Dumbledore started to explain. “First, you push the button in the front while you push up on the top half. Then flip the switch on the right side and that’s it.”
“That’s all? I thought it would be hard,” Remus said.
“After that, you need to think of a screen name. It’s kind of like a code name that others can call you by when you log on. You will type this name into the box that pops up and then you can type responses to other witches or wizards who are also on.”
“That sounds like fun,” Sirius commented.
“I want all of you to learn how to use this, so I expect to see you on tonight. Oh, don’t be surprised if you see some students on because the Ravenclaw gave some to her friends.”
“If that’s all, Albus, I’ll be on my way,” Severus stated. After Dumbledore nodded, Severus swept out of the room carrying the laptop.
A FEW HOURS LATER
Severus was sitting at his desk with the laptop on his desk. He sighed. ‘Might as well get it over with.’ He turned it on and waited for the screen for the screen to pop up. -Screen name: _____________________- it prompted.
‘Oh right. A name.’ An idea popped into his mind. He smirked evilly. ‘Too perfect.’
Former_DE: The Headmaster told the staff to learn how to use this piece of muggle technology. Why am I the only one on?
Former_DE: Minerva?!
Kitty_Professor: Who’s that?
Former_DE: Ten points off Gryffindor for being oblivious
Kitty_Professor: Severus?
Former_DE: You’re right but you’re not getting those ten points back
Kitty_Professor: What’s the DE in your screen name stand for?
Former_DE: Death Eater
Kitty_Professor: *faints*
Kitty_Professor: Albus, did you know that your precious Potions Master is a former Death Eater?
GR8ST_Wiz: Yes
Kitty_Professor: *faints*
GR8ST_Wiz: Minerva?
Kitty_Professor: …
Former_DE: I think she’s in shock
GR8ST_Wiz: Ah
Live_At_Library_Girl: Hello, Professors!
Kitty_Professor: Interesting screen name, Ms. Granger
Live_At_Library_Girl: Harry and Ron suggested it
Former _DE: Well, the Gryffindor Wonder Trio is here
MajesticScar: Hello to you too, Professor Snape
GR8ST_Wiz: ‘Gryffindor Wonder Trio?’ Why do you call them that?
Former_DE: It’s a wonder they haven’t gotten themselves killed
MajesticScar: !
Wizard_Chess_Master#1: !
Live_At_Library_Girl: !
Kitty_Professor: Severus!
Slytherin_Dragon: *looks around* Great. Professor Snape and I are two Slytherins at a Gryffindor convention
MajesticScar: Then leave or we’ll make you leave
Slytherin_Dragon: I’d like to see you try it
Former_DE: Do anything to Draco and it’ll be twenty points off Gryffindor, Potter!
MajesticScar: O___o
Padfoot: Moony! What’s up?
Moony: I’m well, Padfoot. Yourself?
Padfoot: Great! Hey, look! Harry’s here!
MajesticScar: Hey, Moony and Padfoot
Padfoot: Hey, Harry. I’m gonna change your sn, ok?
MajesticScar: Sure
Padfoot: Give me a sec
Moony: Hello, Hermione, Ron, Albus, Minerva, Draco, and Severus
Former_DE: Don’t talk to me
Live_At_Library_Girl: Hello, Professor
Wizard_Chess_Master#1: Hi, Prof!
GR8ST_Wiz: Hello, Remus
Kitty_Professor: Figures you’d choose that name, Remus
Padfoot: Ok, Harry. Try it.
Prongs_Jr: Here goes
Prongs_Jr: Cool sn, Padfoot
Padfoot: I also changed someone else’s sn *snicker*
Moony: You didn’t!
Padfoot: *sits there with an innocent look on face and a halo hanging over head*
Prongs_Jr: You’re not fooling anyone, Padfoot
Wizard_Chess_Master#1: Who’s sn did ya change?
Padfoot: Snape’s
Prongs_Jr: *looks at Snape*
Wizard_Chess_Master#1: *looks at Snape*
Live_At_Library_Girl: What did you change it to?
Snivellus: Black, you’re far from innocent
Snivellus: You’re going to regret this, Black!
Prongs_Jr: *laughs*
Live_At_Library_Girl: *laughs*
Wizard_Chess_Master#1: *laughs*
Moony: *tries not to laugh*
Kitty_Professor: *stifles laughter*
Snivellus: *fuming*
Slytherin_Dragon: Hang on, Professor Snape. I’ve got a solution
Snivellus: Hurry
Padfoot: *laughing uncontrollably*
Slytherin_Dragon: Okay, Professor. Try it now.
Snivellus: Ten points to Slytherin if it worked
Snivellus: It didn’t work, but I’ll still give you the ten points
Padfoot: Aw! Now, we can’t pick on him!
Prongs_Jr: There’s still Malfoy
Padfoot: True but Snape’s more fun
Former_DE: Albus, you’ve been quiet through most of this
GR8ST_Wiz: I’m enjoying the interaction between Hogwarts’s best students both past and present
Former_DE: Best students?
Moony: Albus, not all of us were great students
GR8ST_Wiz: Maybe not with grades but I’m counting other things as well
Escaped_Convict: Like good looks?
Prongs_Jr: Who’s that?
Escaped_Convict: You’re going to pay for this, Snivelly!
Live_At_Library_Girl: Padfoot?
Moony: Who else present would call Severus that?
Slytherin_Dragon: Good idea, Professor Snape
Former_DE: One name change deserves another
Prongs_Jr: Keep out of this, Ferret
Slytherin_Dragon: Or what?
Prongs_Jr: You’ll see
Slytherin_Dragon: I’m staying
Prongs_Jr: All right
Bouncing _Ferret: You are full of it, Potter
Kitty_Professor: *stifles laughter*
Bouncing_Ferret: Potter!
Former_DE: Potter! Set his screen name right!
Prongs_Jr: Or what?
Former_DE: Or I’ll take points off Gryffindor
Escaped_Convict: Stay out of his business, Snivelly. Besides, you and I have some unfinished business to attend to.
Prongs_Jr: You always take points off Gryffindor, so what’s my incentive?
Former_DE: The threat of losing the House Cup
Live_At_Library_Girl: Harry! Don’t you dare make us lose the Cup
Former_DE: Everyone with a name change has logged out, so Black and Potter, what are your reasons for staying? Could it all be true?
Prongs_Jr: Of course mine is true! I am James’s son
Former_DE: And Black?
Former_DE: *smirk* I guess it was true
Padfoot: *singsong voice* I’m ba-ack!
Former_DE: *sarcastic* Oh, joy
Padfoot: Stuff it, Snivelly
Former_DE: Make me
GR8ST_Wiz: Children!
Former_DE: *points at Black* He started it!
Padfoot: *points at Snape* He started it!
GR8ST_Wiz: I don’t care who started it, but I ended it
Moony: Next subject please
Live_At_Library_Girl: LOL
Wizard_Chess_Master#1: What’s LOL?
Live_At_Library_Girl: It means laugh out loud
Wizard_Chess_Master#1: Why didn’t you just write that out?
Live_At_Library_Girl: You mean type it out. The reason is because it’s faster
Wizard_Chess_Master#1: O___o
GR8ST_Wiz: Someone start a conversation please
Moony: You just did, sir
Former_DE: I have a question, Albus. Why did we have to learn to use this muggle contraption?
GR8ST_Wiz: Consider it a course in advanced Muggle Studies, Severus
Former_DE: …
Padfoot: The students have been silent for awhile
Mudblood_scum: I was reading
Mudblood_lover: I was enjoying the conversation
ScarHead: I was enjoying the conversation
Kitty_Professor: Who are they?
Moony: I’m going to take a guess and say Hermione, Ron, and Harry, respectively
Kitty_Professor: It that true?
Mudblood_scum: I’m Hermione
Mudblood_lover: I’m Ron
ScarHead: I’m Harry
Padfoot: Who changed their sn?
ScarHead: I’ll give you three guesses and the first two don’t count
Moony: Draco
Mudblood_scum: Exactly
Slytherin_Dragon: Why do you automatically blame me?
Kitty_Professor: Did you do it, Mr. Malfoy?
Slytherin_Dragon: Yeah, but that’s not the point
Former_DE: 30 points to Slytherin for being ingenious
Kitty_Professor: 30 points from Slytherin for being cruel
Former_DE: Finally some peace and quiet
Slytherin_Dragon: It won’t last long, sir
Former_DE: I know
Live_At_Library_Girl: All of this chatting has gotten me more interested in what the muggle world has to offer the wizarding world. I’ve got research to do!
Wizard_Chess_Master#1: She needs to sort out her priorities. Fun comes before research
Prongs_Jr: Before recreational research you mean
Wizard_Chess_Master#1: Recreational research? That just sounds wrong. Wanna play wizard’s chess?
Prongs_Jr: No, but I bet Padfoot would like to
Padfoot: Sure would
Moony: As much as I’d like to stay, I’ve got to prepare for tomorrow’s lessons
Slytherin_Dragon: I’ve got Quidditch practice later. See you on the pitch, Potter!
Kitty_Professor: I also must leave. I have essays to grade.
GR8ST_Wiz: As much fun as this has been, my post has been piling up and is demanding my attention
Former_DE: 10 points off Gryffindor if you leave before I do, Potter
Prongs_Jr: O__o Yes, sir
Former_DE: Good
Prongs_Jr: Are you there, sir?
Prongs_Jr: Let me try something
Prongs_Jr: Mean old greasy Snivellus
Prongs_Jr: Ok, I’m out of here!
Former_DE: POTTER!
