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Disclaimer: I don't own Jackie Chan Adventures.

'blah' thoughts

'Not now,' he thought. It had been a year since the last transformation, and even then, he knew it was coming and ordered his men to take a month vacation. This time was different. It came without warning. He barely had enough time to run to his rooms and lock his door. Unfortunately, his unusual behavior piqued the interest of his Enforcers.

Currently, Finn was knocking on the door and calling through it, “Are you all right in there, Big V?”

He barely managed to say “Yes” without gritting his teeth. 'Bloody hell, why does it hurt each and every time?'

“I don't believe you. We're coming in.”

“You-you can't. The door's locked.” Valmont frowned. 'Dammit! Why did I stutter?'

Just then, the distinctive click of a lock unlocking was heard. Valmont hung his head, transformation complete. Finn, Ratso, and Chow stood in the doorway to their boss's rooms and stared at the sole occupant. There sitting on the bed was a platinum haired woman. Her hair was bound in a loose ponytail, and she was wearing a green business suit that seemed ill fitted; too small in some areas and yet too large in other areas. She had her head lowered, but when there was no reaction from the doorway, she lifted her head and locked eyes with the three men. Her eyes were a piercing blue.

It was at that moment that Finn realized who the woman was but he wanted confirmation. “Valmont?”

“Yes. It's me,” she sighed.

“What-what happened?” Finn asked.

“It's a family curse, carried by the males and only manifests in the first born male. Once a year, for a month, I become female. It started in adolescence and will continue until I die.”

“How did your family get cursed?” Chow inquired.

“The curse has been in my family for generations, and the origins of the curse has been lost in obscurity.”

“Valmont, what do you do now that you' know...a woman?” Ratso asked.

“For starters, in this form, I go by the name Valerie. My mother gave me that name when this first happened. As for your question, I have always spent the month in my rooms, and I don't see any reason to change that.”

“Why would you do that? Valmont is a wanted man, but Valerie isn't being chased by anyone. She can go out and enjoy the city,” Finn pointed out. He took a real good look at Valerie before adding, “Though a change of clothes might be a good idea.”

“In fact, if you are going to be out more, a shopping trip would be an even better idea,” Chow put in cautiously.

Valerie's face darkened.

“It-it doesn't have to be anything girly, but I recommend staying away from the greens.”

“You do have a point.” Valerie took off her green suit jacket and her yellow tie, leaving her in her green suit pants which were a little too long and her black shirt which was a little tight across her decent sized chest. “However, if you think you are coming with me, you are sorely mistaken.”


Valerie sat down at an outdoor café with her Chai tea in her newly acquired black slacks and navy blue blouse. She disliked dealing with the saleswoman in the clothing department of the store she visited. The woman kept trying to get Valerie to buy unthinkable colors such as pink and purple and in conceivable articles of clothing such as skirts and dresses. She shuddered at the thought and took a sip of her tea, very conscious of her surroundings.

It was a nice day out; warm, but with the slightest hint of a breeze. The sky was a brilliant blue with only a few clouds in the sky. Obviously, the citizens of San Francisco wanted to enjoy the beautiful weather and were outside to do so. However, there was an obscene amount of men out, and said men seemed to be staring at her. Valerie gave another shudder and was trying to make up her mind whether she wanted to leave after finishing her tea. The choice was decided when an exceedingly vile man winked at her. She gulped the last of her tea and quickly left the café.

She was so lost in thoughts of torturing the Enforcers (especially Finn) that she collided with another person going the opposite way. Both she and the other person fell to the sidewalk, and Valerie hissed out, “Why don't you watch where you're going?!”

“I am sorry, miss. I was doing research for the museum I am employed by,” a very familiar voice spoke up.

Valerie froze and looked up as the guy extended a hand to help her up. 'It's Chan!'

Against her better judgment, Valerie grasped his hand and was hauled to her feet. “I am sorry again, Miss-” Jackie trailed off, realizing he didn't know her name.

“My name is Valerie.”

“I am Jackie Chan.” He released her hand and stooped to collect the books that had fallen from their collision.

Feeling uncomfortable, Valerie said, “I have to go.”

Valerie quickly made her escape, leaving behind a slightly confused Jackie. She returned to her hideout. Closing the door, she leveled a glare at the Enforcers, or more specifically at Finn. She stalked to her rooms and slammed the door behind her.

Finn cautiously approached the recently slammed door and called through it, “How did it go?”

“I'm never going out again!”