Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek Voyager or any decorations mentioned in the following chapters.
Chapter 1 – Christmas
Captain Janeway's walk to the bridge was unremarkable, so when she exited the turbolift, she was unprepared for what she saw. Every inch of her bridge was covered...in Christmas decorations. There were holly sprigs hanging from the ceiling; different colored garland wrapped around the stations of tactical, navigational, and conn; multi-colored lights ran around the perimeter of the consoles (including the wall displays);mistletoe was hung in front of every door leading to/from the main bridge; brightly colored balls hung from the railing which separated the command area from the work stations; and the view screen was wrapped in gaily-looking paper complete with ribbon and a gigantic bow.
Knowing who was behind this, Janeway sighed and tapped her combadge. “Mr. Neelix, please report to the bridge.”
Chapter 2 – Halloween
Chakotay was on his way to Main Engineering to see B'Elanna, who was late on the Engineering update. Upon entering the corridor leading to Main Engineering, he found it strangely deserted. With an unfounded sense of unease, he entered Main Engineering and was met with a strange sight. On the casing of the Warp Core were silhouettes of cats; bats; witches; and pumpkins/jack o' lanterns, which, due to the glowing core, threw shadows onto the walls and consoles. Orange and black crepe paper was strung from railing to railing on the second level. Multi-color (black, orange, and purple) lights were running around the perimeter of the consoles (including the wall displays), and hanging in the space between the railings of the second level and in front of the Warp Core was a humongous spider. The positioning was so similar to the member of Species 8472 that was being hunted by the Hirogen (Season four; episode “Prey”) that it startled the Commander.
After calming his nerves, he tapped his communicator. “Neelix, report to Main Engineering.”
Chapter 3 – St. Patrick's Day
“Please state the nature of the medical emergency.” The Doctor appeared in sickbay. “Hello? Is anybody there?”
He looked around sickbay, and aside from no one being there, his medical bay looked strange. There was an abundance of weirdly shaped green things hanging off the bio-beds, and strings of lit green things were running around the perimeter of the consoles (including the wall displays). At the entrance to the surgical bay was a line of cardboard shapes (the same as the shapes that were hanging from the bio-beds) and hanging from the cardboard were what seemed like hundreds of green streamers, blocking the surgical bay from view. To top it all off, when the Doctor walked through the streamers, a short, humanoid dressed in green was laying on the surgical bed. It took no time at all to determine that the humanoid wasn't real and was, in fact, stuffed. It was clear the Doctor was not amused.
%%% BRIDGE
“Captain, please turn on your emergency medical holographic channel.” Captain Janeway pressed a button on her side panel, and the Doctor appeared on the Main Viewer.
Janeway's lips twitched as she attempted not to smile at the usually sterile sickbay decorated somewhat modestly in St. Patrick Day's decorations. Shamrocks were hanging off the bio-beds, green lights were running around consoles, cardboard cut-outs of shamrocks were lined up above the entrance to the surgical bay and streamers hung from the shamrocks. Laying on the surgical bed was a stuffed Leprechaun. Janeway cleared her throat. “Is there a problem, Doctor?”
“Of course, there is. Someone has defaced my sickbay!”
Janeway's lips twitched again. “I'd hardly call a few decorations defacing.” The Doctor made a motion to say something, but the captain kept going. “Nevertheless, I will talk to the person responsible, and they will fix it. Bridge out.” Janeway turned off the view screen, sighed, and tapped her combadge. “Mr. Neelix, please report to the bridge.”
Chapter 4 – Valentine's Day
Regeneration Cycle Complete.
Seven of Nine stepped out of her alcove, ready to start her day in the astrometrics lab. The condition of Cargo Bay Two stopped her in her tracks. She tapped her communicator. “Seven of Nine to Lieutenant Tuvok.”
“Tuvok here.”
“I require your assistance in Cargo Bay Two.”
“On my way.”
It didn't take Tuvok long to reach his destination. The state of Cargo Bay Two assaulted his Vulcan sense of taste.
There was red wire garland with red hearts hanging from it wrapped around the poles of the shelving unit and the columns of the alcoves. Multi-color (red, clear, and pink) lights were running around the perimeter of the consoles (including the wall displays), and there was pink, red, and white heart confetti on every flat surface. Hanging from the ceiling (low enough to see) was a gigantic stuffed cupid (complete with a bow and arrow).
Tuvok raised an eyebrow. “I trust this was not your doing.”
“I thought that was obvious.”
“I thought as much.” Tuvok tapped his communicator. “Mr. Neelix, report to Cargo Bay Two.”
Chapter 5 – Fourth of July
Harry Kim was finally done was his shift. He was going to enjoy himself in the holodeck. Neelix's resort program was exactly what he needed after the stressful shift he had. Harry approached the computer panel next to Holodeck One. He typed in the program's name before entering the holodeck. Instead of walking into a scenic beach side resort, Harry walked into a shuttlecraft, but it wasn't a regular shuttlecraft, it was decorated. Draped around the interior ceiling's perimete3r was bushy; red, white, and blue star garland; multi-color (red, white, and blue) lights were running around the perimeter of the consoles (including the wall displays), and flags were hung all over the walls in the aft section of the ship. There were small ones and medium ones and ones made of cardboard and ones made of plastic. All of the flags had the same design; red and white stripes and in the upper left-hand corner were white stars on a blue background.
Suddenly, the shuttle rocked, Harry was nearly thrown off his feet before he made it to one of the chairs. He activated the view screen and saw the inky blackness of space and splashes of color accompanied by a loud bang. It was an impressive display, but also scary to be in the middle of a fireworks show. Harry wasted no time in vacating the holodeck. He leaned against the wall beside the door, catching his breath. Once his breathing was back to normal, he tapped his communicator. “Mr. Neelix, please report to Holodeck One.”
Chapter 6 – Winter Wonderland
Tom and B'Elanna were coming off shift and headed to the Mess Hall.
“Maybe Neelix made Pizza.”
“Don't get your hopes up, Flyboy.”
They entered the Mess Hall, and their eyes were suddenly accosted by the sight. It seemed as if snow was falling everywhere and icicles were hanging from every single edge (tables and the counter). There appeared to be snow drifts in the corners and a light cover of flurries covering every surface.
The two lieutenants looked around, which caught Neelix's attention. “Welcome to the Winter Wonderland of Voyager's Mess Hall.”
“Well, Neelix-” Tom started but B'Elanna cut him off.
“Do not mess with the holographic projectors, Neelix.”
Chapter 7 – Meeting
“Thank you all for coming. I trust you all know why I asked you here today,” Captain Janeway said. She looked at the assembled members of her crew; Chakotay, Tom, B'Elanna, Tuvok, Harry, Seven, and the Doctor with his mobile emitter.
“To discuss what to do about Neelix and his obsession with holidays,” Tom answered confidently.
“Obsession bordering on mania,” the Doctor added.
“Correct. Now, we need to figure out what we can do about it,” Janeway continued.
“It shouldn't be too harsh since he was just trying to lift crew morale,” Harry pointed out.
“You weren't the one who had his workplace defaced,” the Doctor countered. “I want revenge.”
“The decorations, however impressive, were taken down in each instance, but something more needs to be done,” Chakotay interrupted, “but revenge is a little extreme.”
“I agree with Harry. Neelix wasn't trying to hurt anyone. He just wanted to boost morale,” B'Elanna chimed in.
“I think we can agree that Neelix didn't intend any harm so he doesn't need to be punished. He just needs to learn not to take things too far,” Janeway said.
The conference room was silent for several minutes as most of the members thought about how to do what the captain said.
“Captain,” Tom spoke up. “I think I have an idea that will do just that.”
Chapter 8 – The Plan
Neelix was feeling down. His latest attempts at boosting crew morale seemed to fail to the point of irritating his shipmates. He considered it uplifted seeing certain parts of the ship decorated for different Earth holidays. Having to take down the decorations was the reason he was feeling down.
He went back to the Mess Hall and nearly ran into Harry Kim, who was holding a bowl filled with frozen white stuff. “Oh! Ensign, I'm sorry.”
“No harm done, Neelix. I actually wanted to tell you. I replicated some vanilla ice cream for Tom, but there's too much of it, so I wanted to see if you wanted some.”
“Thank you. It's sure to perk me up.” Neelix took the bowl Harry handed him. He scooped up a bunch of the ice cream and stuck the spoon in his mouth. A disgusted look crossed his face. He resisted the urge to spit out the revolting concoction; instead he forced it down his throat. “That was horrid, Ensign. The replicator messed up the ice cream.”
A smile crept onto Harry's face. “It wasn't actually ice cream. It was near frozen mayonnaise. It's a prank thought of by Tom. We wanted to show you how to properly celebrate a holiday. It's supposed to be done modestly and tastefully.” The smile on Harry's face grew bigger. “Happy April Fool's Day, Neelix.”
Fin
