Disclaimer: I don’t own Yu Yu Hakusho. This is a companion piece to Longing for the Thorns. Where the first story was told in Hiei’s POV, this one will be told in Kurama’s POV. Both stories will tie together in the third story titled, “Confessions.”
I still remember the sound of your sword whistling through the air, on its way to my head. I also remember your blade striking my rose whip which stopped your attack. I didn’t know your name then, but I admired your speed and how you did not hesitate to attack. You may think our meeting was accidental, however, I think it was fate.
When our paths crossed again, we knew one another’s names and you were in need of my thieving skills. Your target was the Vault of the Spirit World King. Had I not needed the Forlorn Hope to save my mother, I would have told you that I had given up my thieving ways. I had need of that mirror, though and agreed somewhat reluctantly to aid you.
When we first saw Yusuke, I was unaware that this encounter would change our lives forever. To you, he was a weak, pathetic fool, but to me he seemed to be more than he appeared. In time, we would find out how much more.
The guilt I felt for deceiving my mother as well as thinking that I was responsible for her disease weighed heavily on me. I wanted to tell someone how I was feeling and oddly enough, or perhaps not oddly enough, I decided to tell Yusuke. I had use for the mirror: To cure my mother. After that, I would hand over the Forlorn Hope to Yusuke. I knew I would not be alive to stand trial for my crime.
Or so I thought. Yusuke thoughtlessly decided to give up his life instead of me sacrificing my own to get my wish. This selfless act led to Mother being cured and neither one of us dying. I was released on good behavior seeing as I returned the mirror and surrendered without a fight.
I felt indebted to Yusuke after that. He saved my life. That is why I helped him defeat you. I felt hurt that you thought I was a traitor. Clearly you did not think so six months later.
We encountered one another again when Koenma called us in to aid Yusuke and his friend, Kuwabara, in defeating the Four Saint Beasts. He ensured a clean record if we agreed to help. I accepted his offer. You did as well and my heart raced at the thought of us working together again, this time for a good cause.
When the four of us were trapped in the Gate of Betrayal, there was a moment when you actually considered leaving the rest of us to die. My heart pounded in my throat at that pronouncement. “Don’t you even consider it, Hiei!” I had exclaimed, though I sounded quite calm- as calm as I could while holding up a ceiling, that is.
I sensed your eyes on me while I battled Genbu. It was a difficult battle for me as a human. Had I been in my demon form, the fight would have been over in an instant. I sustained a wound and I heard a note of worry in your voice when you saw that I was hurt. I knew you were impressed that my skills had not diminished.
Your own skills were flawlessly, albeit fast, when you fought Seiyru. You claimed to cut your opponent sixteen times. I had no reason to doubt you. After all I only saw flashes of light.
Yukina’s rescue brought another side of you to light. Up until that point, you seemed to exist for fighting strong opponents and nothing more. That seemed to be a sad existence to me.
Anyway, I saw a caring, protective side of you I had never seen before. It was a nice change from what I normally see. What puzzled me (and still does) is why you won’t tell her you are her brother. I pray that one day you will tell me why and that you’ll finally tell her.
I had believed that I would only see you fleetingly after rescuing Yukina. It turned out not to be the case. The two of us were forced to participate in the Dark Tournament along with Yusuke and Kuwabara.
As I was fighting my first opponent in the tournament, my thoughts drifted to you. This intrigued me. Why was I thinking of you when I should be focused on my opponent? I shoved that query aside and focused on the match. The end was quick once I was focused.
Your match followed mine. I was impressed by your calm as flames roared around you. I was horrified by the injury you sustained. Awe and horror combined when I saw you unleash The Dragon of the Darkness Flame. However, I felt sympathy for the price you had to pay for using that technique. My thoughts began to dwell on you even more. I almost felt the pain you did from your dominant hand.
When we fought together against M-5 and his machine, it was perfect teamwork. I felt deep concern when you were pinned to that tree. I heard you cry out my name when the machine’s arms appeared to have killed me.
I was disappointed that I couldn’t see you fight in the third round of the tournament. In truth, you were not in peak condition. I, however, was fit to fight. That would soon change. My match against Touya called for brains, not brawn. My opponent was using his mind, so I did too. Thanks to planting the Death Plant in my body, I won the match, but I slipped into unconsciousness after winning.
I regained consciousness several minutes later to find I lost the third match and Yusuke had just won that fight. I saw you in that forcefield and my heart fluttered at the sight of you. Your injured arms seemed to be healing and I assumed that the forcefield had a healing effect. The thought gave me comfort.
The semifinal round was, by far, the most exciting and mystical fight to date. I found it exciting because you were fighting again. The first match was swift. I actually saw every move you made in that fight. Your second match lasted longer and I enjoyed every move you made.
My match was just as mystical as your second one. I felt humiliation wash over me at falling for my opponent’s trick. What would you think of me for showing kindness to one who needed none? The mystical Idunn Box freed my demon self from my human body. I felt my familiar energy and power rush through me. I was strong, powerful, and cold-hearted again, though only temporarily. When the smoke cleared, I saw a smirk on your face. This expression burned itself into my mind at that moment and still remains there now.
As I lay here on the eve before the finals, I think of what we’ve been through. I think about that smirk. I would like to think that you found my demon form attractive, but you probably were attracted to the power it held. If we survive the tournament, I plan to tell you this: “Hiei, I love you.”